Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Swine flu is the new snow day.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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