do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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