I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
