you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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