hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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