Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
