Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
