She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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