I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
