How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
