No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
