I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize