pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
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I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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