I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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