hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
