Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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