That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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