I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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