Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
