You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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