Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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