I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
