Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
