clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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