I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
