Dual....:-)
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
