well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
