Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
