yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
