you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
