we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
