Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
