Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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