Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
