you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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