She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
