as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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