areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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