so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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