yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
