He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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