i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
