people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
