btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize