I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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