you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
