Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize