so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
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i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
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Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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