Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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