Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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