so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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