Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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