eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
